Time once again to pay homage to our namesake with another version of chili cheese fries. Let’s just forget the fact that a generous plate of chili cheese fries can approach 2000 calories. Let’s not even think about how the fries were, well, deep fried in oil. And just ignore the destructive consequences Velveeta cheese in mass can effect on your arteries. Forget all that because this is a health food version of the decedent bar food mainstay. How can this be you say? Easy. I used turkey chili and in my book that constitutes health food. So go ahead and indulge. It’s good for you. Wink.

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 cups turkey chili (recipe found here)
• 1 bunch of “real” french fries (recipe found here)
• 1/2 cup Rotel® tomatoes with jalapenos
• 1 block Velveeta® cheese, cut into small cubes

PREPARATION:

In a saucepan, melt the cheese and then add the  tomatoes, then.. well you know the drill.

Heat Factor

Yes, Chili Cheese Fries Porn. Simply the most alluring photography of the good stuff found on the net. Either this post will reaffirm your love and desire for the messy, gloopy, goodness or you will never go there again. Hey, one man’s heart attack on a plate is another man’s nirvana.

Here I go again with the chili cheese fries. What can I say? I love them. So much so that I have spent the last 15 years on a quest to develop the most outrages bowl of the good stuff ever created by mankind. OK not 15 years, but I have been pondering what the most refined, most expensive, most decadent plate of chili cheese fries would look and taste like. Yeah, I have a lot of time on my hands.

So being bored, twisted and hungry I set out to the store to wrangle up the most gourmet ingredients for my creation. First off, I knew I must fry the potatoes (Idaho of course) in duck fat. Yep. Duck fat. French fries fried in duck fat are hands down the absolute best. Somehow, the duck fat leaves the fries with a delicate crunchy texture that is superior to those fried in other oils. Simply wicked.

On to the chili. I already have a great gourmet chili that rocks so I start there and chose to grind up the filet mignon for the meat and replace the bourbon with a high end cognac. The results were just what I was looking for, a great chili with a high price tag.

Next finally was the cheese. A reader had commented a few weeks back and suggested a mix of sharp cheddar with smoked Gouda. Bingo. The flavor was out of this world although I had a little trouble melting the cheese. It was soft enounh and delicious but just a bit clumpy. In retrosepct I ptobably should have just shredded the cheese on top and placed the whole mess under the broiler for a few.

Well there you have it. A really great, really expensive plate of gourmet chili cheese fries. Cost? Well if you must ask around $66.00 for 4 servings or $16.50 per plate. Worth every penney in my book but I might hold off on making this version again until after I hit the lottery. Then look out for the $100.00 Hot Dog!

INGREDIENTS:

For the fries

• 14 oz of frozen duck fat (whole foods usually carries it but if not you can order it from dartagnan.com. It is reasonably priced but the shipping will get you becuase the have to keep it frozen. Great people to deal with btw)
• 4 or 5 large Idaho or russet potatoes, well washed , scrubbed
• salt
• fresh ground black pepper
• Angel Dust Spice Mix (optional for a more robust taste for grilling etc.)
• fresh finely chopped herbs (sage, thyme, rosemary, etc. optional)

For the chili

• 1 stick butter, halved
• 1 lb ground sirloin
• 1 lb filet mignon, cut into small cubes  then ground in a food processor for just a few pulses
• 1 cup diced onion
• 1 jalapeno, stemmed, seeded and minced
• 1/2 your favorite high end cognac
• 4 tablespoons masa flour
• 1/4 cup tomato paste
• 2 tomatoes, minced
• 4 cups beef stock (plus 1 teaspoons beef base or dissolved beef bullion cube added)
• 1 cup cooked pitno beans
• 1/4 cup chili powder
• 2 tablespoons dark brown sugar
• 1 tablespoon kosher salt
• 2 teaspoons fresh ground black pepper
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1 cup shredded white cheddar cheese

For the cheese

• 1/2 lb smoked Gouda, wax removed and cut into small cubes
• 1/2 lb shredde sharp chddar cheese
• 1/4 cup heavy cream (optional)

PREPARATION:

For the fries

1. Peel the potatoes; it’s OK if some of the peel remains. Not much but a little is OK. Slice the potatoes no more than 5 to 6 inches long, about 1/4 inch high and 3/4 inches wide. This is important because if they are cut to thin they can be too crispy or over cook to quickly. Too large and they are mushy, too long and many will break during the process. Next place them in an ice water bath for 20 – 30 minutes.

2. In a large stock bring about 1 to 2 gallons of water (depending on the sixe of your pot) to a rolling boil. Add the fries and blanch them for 4 minutes. Quickly move the fries to an ice bath for a minute or so to stop the cooknig process then drain. Pat dry with paper towels being careful not to break or smash any.

3. In a large suace pan, add the duck fat straight from the freezer and heat to 375°F. Add the blanched potatoes in small bataches and fry for 4 to 6 minutes until they are crispy and lightly golden brown in color. Quickly drain on paper towels and sprinkle with salt and pepper to taste or us the salt, pepper and the Angle Dust mix as an option.

For the chili

Melt 1/2 of the butter in a large pot over medium high heat. Brown the ground sirloin and filet. Remove the meat and drain off all but 1/4 cup of the remaining fat and add the jalapeno and onion. Cook for 4 – 5 minutes to soften. Add the meat back to the pot and pour in the cognac and raise the heat to high and cooked for 2 minutes. Next add the masa and stir constantly for 1 minute. Quickly add the tomatoes, tomato paste and stock and stir. Reduce heat to a simmer and add the beans, chili powder, cumin, salt, pepper and brown sugar. Simmer the chili for 30 minutes uncovered, stirring occasionally. Finally, stir in the remaining butter and the shredded cheddar cheese.

For the cheese

In a small saucepan, melt both cheese, adding heavy cream in small amounts to help thin out the mixture but not too much. See if you have better luck melting yours than I did.

To assemble

Pretty basic stuff as always. Simply start with a bed of fries, ladled on some chili and top with the melted cheese. Serves about 4

Heat Factor

No really. There are some fries underneath all that, down there somewhere. Yes the ultimate, the Cadillac of chili cheese fries recipes. I didn’t need a flash for this picture because a beam of light was shining down from the heavens, illuminating my masterpiece. OK maybe it’s not that good but it was close. Now this recipe is fairly specific, but remember, it is the Cadillac of chili cheese fries, so substitute at you own risk. Go ahead. Stick your face into it. You know you want to.

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 (32 oz) bag of frozen seasoned waffle fries
• 32 oz canola oil
• 2 cups Drunken Chili found here
• 1 cup extra sharp cheddar cheese, freshly grated
• 2 cups Monterey jack cheese, freshly grated
• 4 – 6 slices apple wood smoked bacon, diced
• 1 yellow onion, chopped
• 2 green onion, chopped
• 1/4 cup pickled jalapenos
• 1/4 cup sour cream
• salt
• freshly ground black pepper

PREPARATION:

1. Starve yourself for a week. Then in a skillet render bacon over medium heat until crispy. Drain on paper towels and set aside. Now cook the onions in the bacon fat until translucent. Remove and set aside.

2. Heat the oil in large pan or heavy bottomed pot and fry the fries according to the instructions on the package. Don’t bake them because they will be soggy and we need them crispy considering all the awesomeness we are going to pile on. Drain the fries on paper towels and season with salt and pepper to taste. I know they came seasoned but check anyway to make sure they are fine for you.

3. Meanwhile warm up the chili and grate the cheeses. Preheat the oven to 450°F.

4. Spread the fries evenly in an oven proof casserole. Ladle the chili evenly over the fries, then the cheese, then the bacon, then the sauteed onions and place in the oven until warmed through and the cheese melts. Remove and add the sour cream and green peppers and serve right away.

Serves plenty

Heat Factor